Nobody reads email. Everybody replies to it. The gap between those two facts is filled by a small set of phrases that every office worker knows and nobody admits to using. Here they are, ranked from “probably fine” to “they know.”
11. “Thanks for flagging!”
The gold standard. Warm, grateful and completely non-committal. You have acknowledged that a flag exists. You have not acknowledged what is on the flag. Deniability: total.
10. “Looping in Kevin.”
You didn’t read it, but Kevin might. Kevin also won’t. This creates an elegant chain of people not reading the same email, each one comforted by the presence of the others.
9. “Let me dig into this and get back to you.”
There will be no digging. There will be no getting back. But it buys you four to six business days, and in four to six business days the problem will be someone else’s or the company will have restructured.
8. “Great points!”
Safe, as long as the email contained points. It usually does. Avoid if the email was a calendar invite.
7. “Can we hop on a quick call?”
Translation: “I would rather spend 30 minutes hearing you read this email aloud than spend four minutes reading it myself.” Costly, but deniability remains high because you have technically escalated to a more serious medium.
6. “Sorry for the delay!”
Applied to an email from eleven days ago that you still haven’t opened. The apology is real. The reading is not.
5. “Per your note, sounds good.”
Risky. You are confirming the note exists and that it sounded good, both of which you are guessing. If the note was bad news, this is a problem.
4. “Just to make sure I understand, can you summarize the key ask?”
You are asking the sender to write the email again, shorter. Bold. Some people will respect it. Most will quietly add you to a list.
3. “👍”
Fine from a manager. Devastating from anyone else. A thumbs-up on a four-paragraph email about budget cuts is the corporate equivalent of nodding through a eulogy.
2. “As discussed!”
Nothing was discussed. Everyone on the thread now has to wonder whether they forgot a meeting. You haven’t read the email, but now nobody can prove anything.
1. “Per my last email.”
Wait. That one means they didn’t read your email. Which means you read theirs closely enough to notice. Which means — oh no. You’re the one who reads emails. Everybody knows. Everybody has always known.